Being in a relationship can feel great. It offers a sense of belonging, stability, and satisfaction to our daily lives. However, when relationships are problematic or unnecessarily difficult, they take away from our sense of fulfillment and joy. If you’re having a tough time in a relationship or struggling to develop a good relationship, you may want to consider the problematic behaviors that hinder you from developing a meaningful relationship. If your relationship is struggling, you may want to consider getting in touch with us to schedule couples counseling. Additionally, you can read this blog where we review some of those little relationship issues that can often lead to big problems that end relationships.
Common Problematic Behaviors in Relationships
If you’re like most people, you’ve had that experience where you get out of a relationship, and in retrospect, you feel like you should have known things weren’t going to work out. People are often willing to accept problematic behaviors in the early stages of developing a new relationship because they’re not sure where (if anywhere) the relationship is going. By the time these behaviors are negatively impacting a committed relationship, people have simply accepted them as normal. If you’re in a new or long term relationship with someone who regularly engages in one of the behaviors below, it may be time to make a change:
- Blaming you for anything that goes wrong
- Resenting you
- Acting entitled
- Feeling superior
- Being petty
- Speaking sarcastically to you
- Lying or hiding things from you
- Getting jealous without cause
- Rushing you or putting pressure on you
- Gas Lighting you
Are These Behaviors “Deal Breakers?”
If your partner engages in some of the above behaviors, you don’t have to throw out the entire relationship. Instead, communicate clearly how the behavior makes you feel, set a boundary, and expect your partner to respect that boundary. If your significant other doesn’t respect your boundaries, it may be time to consider moving on. It’s also important to point out that it’s never too soon to set these boundaries. You’re allowed to say no to specific behaviors or let someone know the impact of their behavior at any time. This can help you avoid bigger issues down the road. Even if you’ve just accepted their behavior for months, years, or decades, you can decide that enough is enough. Remember that making an apology isn’t the same thing as making an effort. If someone doesn’t try to respect your request for better treatment, that action should speak louder than words.
Can Therapy Help?
We all learn how to create and sustain relationships based on the examples we see during our development. When we have good examples, we learn good communication and attachment strategies, but when we have bad examples, we can develop less effective relationship skills. Therapy can help couples (and individuals) to recognize their problematic behavior in partnerships and start making changes to improve the ways that we connect to others. If you and/or your partner are struggling, couples counseling at Family Connections Therapy in San Diego may be a good option. You can get started any time by using our online request form to get in touch with our team and schedule a consultation visit.